Saturday is officially my scale day. . . and once a month it'll also be my measurement day. I've developed a scale addiction. . . climbing on every single day (sometimes twice a day) and then getting discouraged if the numbers haven't decreased.
I know that weight loss over a week is more measurable than watching it daily. So, that's what I'm doing. . . breaking the scale habit.
Today I'm thrilled to say I'm officially down 20.2 lbs since the end of March (I don't remember my actual start date, but I do know that around Marcy 27th is when I had my wake up, you are beyond chubby moment). I'll be buying myself some new shoes soon!
The low carb thing is agreeing with me. . . although berries sound DELICIOUS and I can't wait until they are part of my daily regime (in moderation, of course!).
Today I'm sipping iced coffee. . . I tend to make a pot of coffee in the morning and then only have one cup. So later in the day I'm at the point of dumping out the rest. . . I started freezing coffee cubes. Then I pour my cold coffee over a glass full of coffee ice cubes, add a couple packets of Splenda or vanilla SF syrup, and a tablespoon (or two) of heavy cream. Yum-O! I just had a thought. . . I should start putting the leftover coffee into a carafe in the fridge for the next day. . . that'll reduce the coffee waste around here!
Did I mention that cheese doesn't seem to get along with me? I love it, don't get me wrong. . . cheese is my go to food for a quick protein packed snack, for flavoring just about anything. . . I love the tangy taste that's so versatile. But, since I dropped down to Atkins Induction Phase (instead of just Paleo), I've increased my cheese consumption (Atkins allows up to 4 ounces a day) and my skin is the worse for it. . . Guess I'm back to tiny amounts of cheese here and there. *sigh* I may have to add a serving of nuts or nut butter in to replace it since snacks of olives and hard boiled eggs might get boring. . .
Oh. . . did I mention that my size 10 jeans fit me again?!?!?!? They are a little more snug fitting around the thighs than I'd like, but the waist and booty almost have room to spare. My legs aren't thinning down as much because I'm working out and they are building muscle! Still, I hope they do thin down over the next couple of months. This whole size 10 thing is almost worth the 3 inch bust loss (and resulting lack of fullness). I don't own any size 8's anymore, so once I get too thin for 10's I'll have to hit the resale shops.
Movement on the scale and smaller clothing definitely keeps me motivated and helps keeping me from cheating. . .
That said, I went out with the girls the other night. . . no drinks for me, I chugged water instead! I was good and ordered a mixed green salad and chicken skewers (minus the peanut sauce). But I caved when the dessert menu came around and had a chocolate pot de creme. . .which overall wasn't a bad choice except for the SUGAR. And guess what, almost as soon as I finished it I was SICK. Honestly, a bite or two would have been plenty for me because the sugar was overpowering since I don't consume sweets anymore but it was so good I kept eating. . . I got hot flashes and terrible gastro pain pretty quickly, thankfully it passed over a couple hours and I didn't end up spending the night in the bathroom. I'm not sure if this was a gluten or sugar reaction, but it wasn't my typical gluten reaction, so I'm going with sugar. My body says "NO!".
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight loss. Show all posts
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Monday, April 30, 2012
Lunch
I just fried one small organic zucchini, Applegate Naturals deli chicken, & olive slices in Kerrygold butter. Then I added in two whisked eggs and scrambled everything up. It's delicious!
I need to get more healthy fats into my diet. . . I think I'm relying a bit too much on protein and not getting quite enough good fats. So, I'm going to make a salad dressing with olive oil (I'm going for something creamy/ranch like) and find some one to get 1-2 TBS coconut oil in every day. I added a pat of Kerrygold butter to my steak last night. . . YUM-O. How did I live so long without butter on my steak? (Yes, I am eating TONS of veggies every day and drinking at least 72 ounces of water.)
I'm not a big avocado fan, but I'm also going to try and find ways to sneak it into my diet. . . I know the fat is really good for you! My kids devour it. . .
I've decided that my prize for 20lbs lost will be a new pair of Nike athletic shoes (which every ones I want!). I'm wearing mine out (which is very obvious at the gym every morning) and I know the value of quality shoes. My former spouse works for Nike so it's really hard for me to pay retail as I'm used to the employee store or even *gasp* free samples! This is my new world, so I'll suck it up as my incentive for losing weight and sticking to my 5am workout routine!
Curves- I definitely recommend this work out program to any female who doesn't already work out at least three times a week. The circuit is great. . . you know exactly what to do for how long and by the end, you've covered every major muscle group. I went to a full on fitness center once upon a time. . . I even had several personal training sessions. I hated the mirrors on every wall and all the bodies in almost too good of shape. I felt out of place. At Curves, I don't have these issues and I also don't worry about not knowing what I should be doing. In a couple more months, I may check out the Crossfit here and see if that will fit into my world, but I know I'm not physically or mentally ready to yet.
I need to get more healthy fats into my diet. . . I think I'm relying a bit too much on protein and not getting quite enough good fats. So, I'm going to make a salad dressing with olive oil (I'm going for something creamy/ranch like) and find some one to get 1-2 TBS coconut oil in every day. I added a pat of Kerrygold butter to my steak last night. . . YUM-O. How did I live so long without butter on my steak? (Yes, I am eating TONS of veggies every day and drinking at least 72 ounces of water.)
I'm not a big avocado fan, but I'm also going to try and find ways to sneak it into my diet. . . I know the fat is really good for you! My kids devour it. . .
I've decided that my prize for 20lbs lost will be a new pair of Nike athletic shoes (which every ones I want!). I'm wearing mine out (which is very obvious at the gym every morning) and I know the value of quality shoes. My former spouse works for Nike so it's really hard for me to pay retail as I'm used to the employee store or even *gasp* free samples! This is my new world, so I'll suck it up as my incentive for losing weight and sticking to my 5am workout routine!
Curves- I definitely recommend this work out program to any female who doesn't already work out at least three times a week. The circuit is great. . . you know exactly what to do for how long and by the end, you've covered every major muscle group. I went to a full on fitness center once upon a time. . . I even had several personal training sessions. I hated the mirrors on every wall and all the bodies in almost too good of shape. I felt out of place. At Curves, I don't have these issues and I also don't worry about not knowing what I should be doing. In a couple more months, I may check out the Crossfit here and see if that will fit into my world, but I know I'm not physically or mentally ready to yet.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
The Catalyst. . .
Any person who has ever had a successful weight loss journey has a story that started it all. That moment when they woke up, broke down, wept. . .
I've spent my entire adult life 20-60lbs overweight. I was a thin teenager and a sickly thin child. Then I turned 20 and it was all down hill from there. Perhaps it was the undiagnosed Celiac disease or the PCOS or a metabolism shift. I tried a couple weight loss plans here and there. . . nothing ever stuck. I was definitely a social eater and a lover of all things carbs.
Then, one winter day in 2010 when my world was crumbling around me, I stood on the scale and realized I had reached a weight I swore I'd never see. It was more than I weighed nine months pregnant with any of my children. I had barely capped that weight, in fact on a different day or in different clothing, I may never have breached it. . . but the fact is, on that winter morning I did. And it set things in motion. I launched into a weight loss regime like I never had before. . . and the pounds came off. I lost nearly 40 pounds in less than four months and I was thrilled! I quit being careful and managed to maintain my weight loss for about nine months. Then I remarried. . .
I've gained back all but 14 pounds. Sigh. I know why. . . we've been eating too many gluten free carbs. Hubs and I enjoy date night dinners (including desserts) too often and I've been drinking snickers mocha's like a mad woman.
I'm back up to a size 14, but I was almost back to a size 8. I know that I can get there again. I've lived in a bit of apathy about losing weight this year. . . the infertility treatments made it easy for me to ignore the weight gain. But, I saw a photo of me squished down on a child size chair at my niece's birthday party and I was SHOCKED and DISGUSTED. I wept. Granted it was a very unflattering position to be in, all squished up. . . but still. How did I get so flabby????
I never want to see another photo like that again.
I'm on day two of clean eating. It's going well. I've had a headache behind my eyes. . . and I'm sleepy. All this is to be expected whenever you launch into a new dietary regime. I'm reading The Metabolism Miracle and have decided it's the way for me to go. It's obvious I have metabolism B, so I'm hopeful this will work well for me. I'll work my way toward the carb free first eight weeks after I finish up some of the healthy foods I purchased already (grapefruits, yogurt).
The Metabolism Miracle allows unlimited neutral foods (meat, nuts, cheese, certain veggies, etc. . . ) for the first eight weeks (think Atkins). After eight weeks, you move into phase two which adds carbs back in. . . eventually you move into phase three for maintenance.
I'm a firm believer in not excluding any food groups from a healthy diet. . . but, I can exclude carbs for two months. I eat minimal grains anyway (gf oats, brown rice, some gf pasta).
I'll be baking more again with almond and coconut flours in order to find foods that satisfy my carb longings without getting the carb overload. I'm thinking legal pancakes soon. . .
I've spent my entire adult life 20-60lbs overweight. I was a thin teenager and a sickly thin child. Then I turned 20 and it was all down hill from there. Perhaps it was the undiagnosed Celiac disease or the PCOS or a metabolism shift. I tried a couple weight loss plans here and there. . . nothing ever stuck. I was definitely a social eater and a lover of all things carbs.
Then, one winter day in 2010 when my world was crumbling around me, I stood on the scale and realized I had reached a weight I swore I'd never see. It was more than I weighed nine months pregnant with any of my children. I had barely capped that weight, in fact on a different day or in different clothing, I may never have breached it. . . but the fact is, on that winter morning I did. And it set things in motion. I launched into a weight loss regime like I never had before. . . and the pounds came off. I lost nearly 40 pounds in less than four months and I was thrilled! I quit being careful and managed to maintain my weight loss for about nine months. Then I remarried. . .
I've gained back all but 14 pounds. Sigh. I know why. . . we've been eating too many gluten free carbs. Hubs and I enjoy date night dinners (including desserts) too often and I've been drinking snickers mocha's like a mad woman.
I'm back up to a size 14, but I was almost back to a size 8. I know that I can get there again. I've lived in a bit of apathy about losing weight this year. . . the infertility treatments made it easy for me to ignore the weight gain. But, I saw a photo of me squished down on a child size chair at my niece's birthday party and I was SHOCKED and DISGUSTED. I wept. Granted it was a very unflattering position to be in, all squished up. . . but still. How did I get so flabby????
I never want to see another photo like that again.
I'm on day two of clean eating. It's going well. I've had a headache behind my eyes. . . and I'm sleepy. All this is to be expected whenever you launch into a new dietary regime. I'm reading The Metabolism Miracle and have decided it's the way for me to go. It's obvious I have metabolism B, so I'm hopeful this will work well for me. I'll work my way toward the carb free first eight weeks after I finish up some of the healthy foods I purchased already (grapefruits, yogurt).
The Metabolism Miracle allows unlimited neutral foods (meat, nuts, cheese, certain veggies, etc. . . ) for the first eight weeks (think Atkins). After eight weeks, you move into phase two which adds carbs back in. . . eventually you move into phase three for maintenance.
I'm a firm believer in not excluding any food groups from a healthy diet. . . but, I can exclude carbs for two months. I eat minimal grains anyway (gf oats, brown rice, some gf pasta).
I'll be baking more again with almond and coconut flours in order to find foods that satisfy my carb longings without getting the carb overload. I'm thinking legal pancakes soon. . .
Monday, December 6, 2010
Long Plateau & HCG Protocol
There has been so much going on in my crazy world, that weight loss took a backseat. The good news is, I managed to maintain my August weight over the last four months with no gain. I continued to weigh weekly to make sure I was within a pound of that weight.
Overall, I'm much less hungry and much more aware of portion sizes. I'm not snacking and I'm not eating junk. On the occasion that I want a treat, a very small portion does the trick. I have no doubt that if I had continued to eat only clean meals of lean protein + complex carb + veggies, I'd have lost quite a bit more weight over the last four months. That said, I've been enjoying my Dutch Bros mocha's a bit too much.
I decided drastic was called for in order to get my brain back into the full functioning/weight loss mode. So, I started the HCG Protocol. The first two days are known as "gorge days" and I tell you, I couldn't eat half of what was suggested (probably because I'm not used to high fat/junk foods). Day three was my first VLCD (500 calories) and I did okay. I'd been sick over the weekend (because of gorge + hcg start or flu, I don't know) so the first VLCD was pretty easy. However, today finds me starving... I'm thinking about food nonstop. It's physical hunger and a psychological battle over WANTING to eat.
My biggest fear (other than hunger) is boredom... on the HCG diet the following foods are avaliable with NO exceptions.
2 servings of 100 grams lean protein (one each at lunch and dinner)-chicken, fish, lean beef, shrimp
2 vegetables (not mixed, one each at lunch and dinner)- spinach, chard, chicory, beet-greens, green salad, tomatoes, celery, fennel, onions, red radishes, cucumbers, asparagus, cabbage.
2 fruits (one each at lunch and dinner, or if needed, have the lunch one at breakfast) apple, half grapefruit, orange, or handful of strawberries.
2 Melba Toasts (one each at lunch and dinner or use as snacks between).
1 Tbs milk
Stevia
Juice of one lemon
Pure spices (check for sugars, starches, etc...)
Black coffee
Tea (no fruits added)
Water
Today's 500 calorie line up:
Breakfast- cup of black chai tea + 1 Tbs milk + 1 stevia packet with a Melba Toast 45 cals
AM snack- I enjoyed four strawberries sliced, sprinkled with a bit of stevia 30 cals
Lunch- 100 grams tilapia cooked w/lemon slices, black pepper, salt, garlic + asparagus 125 cals
Dinner- 100 grams chicken + 1/2 cup chicken broth + 1/4 head cabbage seasoned with black pepper, garlic, + salt. Melba Toast and a sliced apple. 265 cals + 15 cals juice of one lemon
daily total= 480cals
In between meals, I've enjoyed 3 glasses of lemonade because my queasy tummy isn't liking plain water (1/3 of the lemon, squeezed, 1 packet stevia, iced water). I'm not a big tea fan, but found spiced tea to be palatable when I add stevia to it.
Here's to staying positive... and winning the mind battle over food.
*Side note* When I fully implement the Eat Clean Diet, I am NOT hungry and have no issues with portion control or cravings. This HCG diet is more of a test than anything, plus I'd love to see if it really does help target that belly fat I can't seem to get rid of!
*I've met my first weight loss goal, so I've updated my ticker to my final goal weight.
Overall, I'm much less hungry and much more aware of portion sizes. I'm not snacking and I'm not eating junk. On the occasion that I want a treat, a very small portion does the trick. I have no doubt that if I had continued to eat only clean meals of lean protein + complex carb + veggies, I'd have lost quite a bit more weight over the last four months. That said, I've been enjoying my Dutch Bros mocha's a bit too much.
I decided drastic was called for in order to get my brain back into the full functioning/weight loss mode. So, I started the HCG Protocol. The first two days are known as "gorge days" and I tell you, I couldn't eat half of what was suggested (probably because I'm not used to high fat/junk foods). Day three was my first VLCD (500 calories) and I did okay. I'd been sick over the weekend (because of gorge + hcg start or flu, I don't know) so the first VLCD was pretty easy. However, today finds me starving... I'm thinking about food nonstop. It's physical hunger and a psychological battle over WANTING to eat.
My biggest fear (other than hunger) is boredom... on the HCG diet the following foods are avaliable with NO exceptions.
2 servings of 100 grams lean protein (one each at lunch and dinner)-chicken, fish, lean beef, shrimp
2 vegetables (not mixed, one each at lunch and dinner)- spinach, chard, chicory, beet-greens, green salad, tomatoes, celery, fennel, onions, red radishes, cucumbers, asparagus, cabbage.
2 fruits (one each at lunch and dinner, or if needed, have the lunch one at breakfast) apple, half grapefruit, orange, or handful of strawberries.
2 Melba Toasts (one each at lunch and dinner or use as snacks between).
1 Tbs milk
Stevia
Juice of one lemon
Pure spices (check for sugars, starches, etc...)
Black coffee
Tea (no fruits added)
Water
Today's 500 calorie line up:
Breakfast- cup of black chai tea + 1 Tbs milk + 1 stevia packet with a Melba Toast 45 cals
AM snack- I enjoyed four strawberries sliced, sprinkled with a bit of stevia 30 cals
Lunch- 100 grams tilapia cooked w/lemon slices, black pepper, salt, garlic + asparagus 125 cals
Dinner- 100 grams chicken + 1/2 cup chicken broth + 1/4 head cabbage seasoned with black pepper, garlic, + salt. Melba Toast and a sliced apple. 265 cals + 15 cals juice of one lemon
daily total= 480cals
In between meals, I've enjoyed 3 glasses of lemonade because my queasy tummy isn't liking plain water (1/3 of the lemon, squeezed, 1 packet stevia, iced water). I'm not a big tea fan, but found spiced tea to be palatable when I add stevia to it.
Here's to staying positive... and winning the mind battle over food.
*Side note* When I fully implement the Eat Clean Diet, I am NOT hungry and have no issues with portion control or cravings. This HCG diet is more of a test than anything, plus I'd love to see if it really does help target that belly fat I can't seem to get rid of!
*I've met my first weight loss goal, so I've updated my ticker to my final goal weight.
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
2 Months In... Down 1-2 sizes and nearly 25 lbs!
I've moved from (almost out of) 14's to between 10-12's (12's are getting loose, 10's are still too snug).
I'm still eating clean and combining a protein and complex carb at each meal time. I haven't been as good at eating every 3 hours because there is a lot of stress in my world right now.
When I weighed in at the Docs yesterday, I was actually up 5 lbs on the scale vs. my home scale from a couple days before. I'm in the ovulation phase of my cycle... not sure if that would cause the weight difference or if it was merely a scale/time of day issue.
The good news... since I cut out all refined sugars (I'm only using honey, rapadura/sucanat, or palm sugar in moderation), I'm ovulating on my own again. As a long time sufferer of PCOS, this is great news indeed! I'm sure the weight loss has also helped in that regard, but I was thinner a dozen years ago when I first started trying to conceive and I wasn't ovulating on my own then.
I'm still eating clean and combining a protein and complex carb at each meal time. I haven't been as good at eating every 3 hours because there is a lot of stress in my world right now.
When I weighed in at the Docs yesterday, I was actually up 5 lbs on the scale vs. my home scale from a couple days before. I'm in the ovulation phase of my cycle... not sure if that would cause the weight difference or if it was merely a scale/time of day issue.
The good news... since I cut out all refined sugars (I'm only using honey, rapadura/sucanat, or palm sugar in moderation), I'm ovulating on my own again. As a long time sufferer of PCOS, this is great news indeed! I'm sure the weight loss has also helped in that regard, but I was thinner a dozen years ago when I first started trying to conceive and I wasn't ovulating on my own then.
Thursday, June 3, 2010
7 Weeks
And 21lbs down...
Granted... I'm picking up speed again because there's a lot of junk going on in my life right now and I'm not eating much... which I know isn't good...
But 21lbs... YAY!
Granted... I'm picking up speed again because there's a lot of junk going on in my life right now and I'm not eating much... which I know isn't good...
But 21lbs... YAY!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Cleansing... AGAIN!
I'm at 16.1 lbs down... which is good, no it's GREAT. But, it's now coming off SLOW. And I'm impatient, remember? (I know I should be happy with another 1.1 lbs gone in this past week... heck, if I lose a pound a week, that's 52 lbs/year, right... and that rocks. But I want faster results, especially since I am working my butt off, literally!).
I'm doing circuit training 4-5x's week (my goal is 6, but who knows when that's going to actually be a reality) and trying to get walking/swimming/etc... in at least 3 days a week as well. The good news... I'm already seeing body changes with 2 weeks of regular work outs under my belt... increased muscle tone... ability to get through the circuit easier while maintaining a fat burning cardio rate.
I've changed my diet (low carb, high protein)... in an attempt to hit another spurt of rapid loss... it doesn't seem to be working.
So, I decided to do a heavy cleanse/fast today. Yuck, I know.
I'm doing Isagenix Cleanse for Life (4oz 4x/day) and lots of water. The only food I get is... organic apple slices and a few almonds. Yes, I'm starving. Someone mentioned that I'll be enjoying headaches today as well... that'll be awesome, especially since I have one very unhappy toddler here today.
The point to this is to detox my body... especially since I've only been off the soda for a couple months (I did a gentle 14 day cleanse already) and I had some cheating going on last week.
In other news, I spent a good part of yesterday verifying my Naturopathic coverage on our health insurance and booking my annual exam with our ND friend (who rocks, BTW). I'm excited about this for a couple of reasons...
* No MD means no mention of the dreaded hysterectomy that I've been assured is in my future
* No MD means not having to fight off (again) prescriptions for Metformin and HRT for PCOS
* No MD means natural thyroid and hormone therapy if needed instead of drugs to mask the problems
Here's an interesting thought... I've been 20-65ish pounds overweight for my entire adult life (since the flare of PCOS and subsequent hormone/fertility treatments). Not one of my doctors has every addressed my weight as a health concern, because to them, I'm healthy... as in, my cholesterol, BP, sugars, etc... are all just fine. The only times my weight has been discussed at all was during pregnancy because I was losing weight (also the only time in life my thyroid was over active).
Even though my docs can say I'm healthy... blah blah blah... I know that I'm on the fast track to diabetes. How do I know this (and my doctors should as well)? My family history... EVERY.SINGLE.ADULT.WOMAN on my Mom's side has developed diabetes between late 30's-40's... and most of the men as well. My father also has diabetes. I also have PCOS which has been linked to insulin resistance. I had a 9lb 7oz newborn (in a pregnancy where my blood sugar was not checked). And the list goes on.
Optimum Health? I think not.
I'm doing circuit training 4-5x's week (my goal is 6, but who knows when that's going to actually be a reality) and trying to get walking/swimming/etc... in at least 3 days a week as well. The good news... I'm already seeing body changes with 2 weeks of regular work outs under my belt... increased muscle tone... ability to get through the circuit easier while maintaining a fat burning cardio rate.
I've changed my diet (low carb, high protein)... in an attempt to hit another spurt of rapid loss... it doesn't seem to be working.
So, I decided to do a heavy cleanse/fast today. Yuck, I know.
I'm doing Isagenix Cleanse for Life (4oz 4x/day) and lots of water. The only food I get is... organic apple slices and a few almonds. Yes, I'm starving. Someone mentioned that I'll be enjoying headaches today as well... that'll be awesome, especially since I have one very unhappy toddler here today.
The point to this is to detox my body... especially since I've only been off the soda for a couple months (I did a gentle 14 day cleanse already) and I had some cheating going on last week.
In other news, I spent a good part of yesterday verifying my Naturopathic coverage on our health insurance and booking my annual exam with our ND friend (who rocks, BTW). I'm excited about this for a couple of reasons...
* No MD means no mention of the dreaded hysterectomy that I've been assured is in my future
* No MD means not having to fight off (again) prescriptions for Metformin and HRT for PCOS
* No MD means natural thyroid and hormone therapy if needed instead of drugs to mask the problems
Here's an interesting thought... I've been 20-65ish pounds overweight for my entire adult life (since the flare of PCOS and subsequent hormone/fertility treatments). Not one of my doctors has every addressed my weight as a health concern, because to them, I'm healthy... as in, my cholesterol, BP, sugars, etc... are all just fine. The only times my weight has been discussed at all was during pregnancy because I was losing weight (also the only time in life my thyroid was over active).
Even though my docs can say I'm healthy... blah blah blah... I know that I'm on the fast track to diabetes. How do I know this (and my doctors should as well)? My family history... EVERY.SINGLE.ADULT.WOMAN on my Mom's side has developed diabetes between late 30's-40's... and most of the men as well. My father also has diabetes. I also have PCOS which has been linked to insulin resistance. I had a 9lb 7oz newborn (in a pregnancy where my blood sugar was not checked). And the list goes on.
Optimum Health? I think not.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Weigh Loss and PCOS
I was diagnosed with PCOS way back at the age of 19. I finally had a doctor who said, "let's see what's going on" instead of "you're young, we won't worry yet". Even though I was young, having cycles only a few times a year wasn't normal.
As I ended my teen years and headed into early adulthood, I was planning to get married and knew that pregnancy wouldn't be easy for me. By the time I was married at 20, we knew what was wrong and I was able to begin fertility treatments right after the wedding... a year later, I was pregnant. I can't help but wonder how long it would have taken me to get pregnant if we hadn't been proactive...
Today, I would take a different route because I'm learning how to manage my PCOS naturally in order to find a healthy body balance. I'm also 12 years older, which I think gives me a different perspective. And since I've birthed three biological children and am the mother to a stepson as well, I'm no longer the young, desperate woman I was before children. I've been reading blogs of women who are me, several years ago and so much wiser (maybe because of the blogosphere) than I was... that said, back then I didn't even own a home computer.
I knew going into this weight loss lifestyle, that it wouldn't be as easy for me as it is for some because of the PCOS. But since I lost the first 14lbs quickly, I was hoping I'd been wrong. Since the weight is just barely creeping off now it appears I wasn't incorrect. *Bleh*.
What I'm learning about a healthy PCOS diet:
When I'm struck by a sweet tooth, I find that some fruit (especially strawberries with some whip sweetened with honey) works great! If I do need to add sweetener to something, I'm using palm (coconut) sugar which has a GI of 35 or raw, local honey.
What I'm not doing... I slacked off on my food diary/journal. I had this mentality that I had things down... but the weight isn't coming off so I must be missing something.
I am working out at least 4x's a week (30 minute circuit training). My body feels it.
The good news...
We took the kids swimming yesterday, the suit I purchase for Spring Break (end of March this year) was FALLING OFF ME.
As I ended my teen years and headed into early adulthood, I was planning to get married and knew that pregnancy wouldn't be easy for me. By the time I was married at 20, we knew what was wrong and I was able to begin fertility treatments right after the wedding... a year later, I was pregnant. I can't help but wonder how long it would have taken me to get pregnant if we hadn't been proactive...
Today, I would take a different route because I'm learning how to manage my PCOS naturally in order to find a healthy body balance. I'm also 12 years older, which I think gives me a different perspective. And since I've birthed three biological children and am the mother to a stepson as well, I'm no longer the young, desperate woman I was before children. I've been reading blogs of women who are me, several years ago and so much wiser (maybe because of the blogosphere) than I was... that said, back then I didn't even own a home computer.
I knew going into this weight loss lifestyle, that it wouldn't be as easy for me as it is for some because of the PCOS. But since I lost the first 14lbs quickly, I was hoping I'd been wrong. Since the weight is just barely creeping off now it appears I wasn't incorrect. *Bleh*.
What I'm learning about a healthy PCOS diet:
- Eat high protein to help regulate insulin in the body
- Remove added sugars, especially refined
- Replace white carbs with healthier whole grains
- Enjoy plenty of fruits and vegetables
When I'm struck by a sweet tooth, I find that some fruit (especially strawberries with some whip sweetened with honey) works great! If I do need to add sweetener to something, I'm using palm (coconut) sugar which has a GI of 35 or raw, local honey.
What I'm not doing... I slacked off on my food diary/journal. I had this mentality that I had things down... but the weight isn't coming off so I must be missing something.
I am working out at least 4x's a week (30 minute circuit training). My body feels it.
The good news...
We took the kids swimming yesterday, the suit I purchase for Spring Break (end of March this year) was FALLING OFF ME.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Four Weeks In...
Down 15.3lbs and 5 inches.
Doing my happy dance.
I'm looking into a training program tonight to kick things up a notch (or two!).
Doing my happy dance.
I'm looking into a training program tonight to kick things up a notch (or two!).
Monday, May 10, 2010
Importance of The Cleanse
Yes, I started this weight loss trek with a 14 day whole body cleanse (all natural, stimulant free).
Yes, I felt better at the end.
The cleanse I chose including fiber for bulking, natural stimulant free laxative to keep things moving, and a liver support to flush toxins. Combined with plenty of water, I spent a fair amount of time in the bathroom.
I didn't experience any major "side effects"... no major cramping or inability to function. I did have days when I felt a little "icky".
I don't recommend a fast cleanse (those 3 days whoozies)... you'll be in pain. I do recommend a more gentle cleanse... with plenty of water and possibly even combined with some fasting.
Repeat your cleanse every 3-6 months. That should be fun. :)
Oh, and I'm getting my thyroid checked... I have several symptoms:
Weight gain and difficulty losing weight
Sleepiness... OhMyGosh... I fall asleep at the drop of a hat.
Cold... all the time.
Thinning Hair... I kid you not.
Acne... really?
I've done the research on natural dessicated thyroid... and plan to seek out a prescription. Now, it's just a matter of finding the time to get my kiester into the ND.
Yes, I felt better at the end.
The cleanse I chose including fiber for bulking, natural stimulant free laxative to keep things moving, and a liver support to flush toxins. Combined with plenty of water, I spent a fair amount of time in the bathroom.
I didn't experience any major "side effects"... no major cramping or inability to function. I did have days when I felt a little "icky".
I don't recommend a fast cleanse (those 3 days whoozies)... you'll be in pain. I do recommend a more gentle cleanse... with plenty of water and possibly even combined with some fasting.
Repeat your cleanse every 3-6 months. That should be fun. :)
Oh, and I'm getting my thyroid checked... I have several symptoms:
Weight gain and difficulty losing weight
Sleepiness... OhMyGosh... I fall asleep at the drop of a hat.
Cold... all the time.
Thinning Hair... I kid you not.
Acne... really?
I've done the research on natural dessicated thyroid... and plan to seek out a prescription. Now, it's just a matter of finding the time to get my kiester into the ND.
3 weeks, 4 days In: 14.7lbs Down!
As of this morning, I've lost 14.7lbs.
Yay!
I'm still writing down every single calorie and fat gram that enters my body. It keeps me accountable.
I'm still enjoying healthy fats (real butter, coconut oil, EVOO) to help curb the cravings.
I don't miss the sweets or the soda.
I should mention that this is officially the longest I've ever managed to stay on a weight loss mission... must have something to do with the baby steps I've taken over the last couple of years toward a healthier eating lifestyle.
Yay!
I'm still writing down every single calorie and fat gram that enters my body. It keeps me accountable.
I'm still enjoying healthy fats (real butter, coconut oil, EVOO) to help curb the cravings.
I don't miss the sweets or the soda.
I should mention that this is officially the longest I've ever managed to stay on a weight loss mission... must have something to do with the baby steps I've taken over the last couple of years toward a healthier eating lifestyle.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Three Weeks IN...
Yesterday marked exactly three weeks on this weight loss journey.
I'm down 11.4 lbs.
My official weigh in is Saturday morning... so we shall see what their scale says! I'll be 3 weeks, 2 days in while the other ladies will be exactly 4 weeks in. I still think I'll be winning. :)
I'm truly not craving sweets or soda. I'm still amazed by this. I'm also finding that I'm less hungry (at first I felt like I was starving). I'm nearly 100% convinced that my thyroid is wacky... I've had symptoms for quite some time... weight gain + mega sleepiness are the biggest offenders.
I'm down 11.4 lbs.
My official weigh in is Saturday morning... so we shall see what their scale says! I'll be 3 weeks, 2 days in while the other ladies will be exactly 4 weeks in. I still think I'll be winning. :)
I'm truly not craving sweets or soda. I'm still amazed by this. I'm also finding that I'm less hungry (at first I felt like I was starving). I'm nearly 100% convinced that my thyroid is wacky... I've had symptoms for quite some time... weight gain + mega sleepiness are the biggest offenders.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Two Week Weigh In & Breakfast
I'm down 10.2 lbs... :) Nine days left until official first month weigh in. (I weighed in late, so I'll only be 3 weeks in, while everyone else is four weeks.
Today for breakfast:
1 cup cooked oats
1/2 ounce (about 7) almonds, chopped
2 Tbs dried cranberries
1 Tbs raw honey
1 Tbs cream (oh yum!)
400 calories/ 10.5 grams fat/ 8 WW points (high fiber, but also higher in HEALTHY fat)
What I'm drinking... WATER. Occasionally I'm mixing in some Crystal Light Pure Fitness (15 cals/serving) or adding a squeeze of lemon.
Do I miss soda? Nope. Amazing.
Today for breakfast:
1 cup cooked oats
1/2 ounce (about 7) almonds, chopped
2 Tbs dried cranberries
1 Tbs raw honey
1 Tbs cream (oh yum!)
400 calories/ 10.5 grams fat/ 8 WW points (high fiber, but also higher in HEALTHY fat)
What I'm drinking... WATER. Occasionally I'm mixing in some Crystal Light Pure Fitness (15 cals/serving) or adding a squeeze of lemon.
Do I miss soda? Nope. Amazing.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
10 lbs down...
I cheated (are you surprised?) and stepped on the scale this morning. I'm down exactly 10 lbs in 13 days.
*Doing a little victory dance*
I'm really trying to focus on the positive... this is working. If I stop to think long enough (or look in the mirror long enough) I get distracted by how far I still have to go.
I'm looking forward to my first official weigh in on May 8th.
My Nourishing breakfast this morning (and yes, I do measure my portions):
1 whole wheat english muffin
1 egg, over medium w/ pepper & Celtic sea salt
1 tsp REAL butter
2 Tbs grated mozzarella cheese
270 calories/ 13.5 grams REAL fat
*Doing a little victory dance*
I'm really trying to focus on the positive... this is working. If I stop to think long enough (or look in the mirror long enough) I get distracted by how far I still have to go.
I'm looking forward to my first official weigh in on May 8th.
My Nourishing breakfast this morning (and yes, I do measure my portions):
1 whole wheat english muffin
1 egg, over medium w/ pepper & Celtic sea salt
1 tsp REAL butter
2 Tbs grated mozzarella cheese
270 calories/ 13.5 grams REAL fat
Monday, April 26, 2010
Early Plateau?
For three days now I've been stuck... (yes, I'm weighing daily even though I was trying to wait a week!). I'm eating between 1400-1600 calories and my fat is staying around 30-35 grams/day. I'm still recording everything I eat and drink.
I'm combating with the following tactics:
*Increase water intake
*Decrease sodium intake (no freezer meals for a couple days at least)
*Take my natural cleanse to flush excess water
*Increase activity level
*Decrease calorie intake to 1200 cals for 2 days, then back to 1400.
I'm trying to add 30 minutes of planned physical activity a day (I already move, A LOT... so this focus is on planning/intentional activity). Today I rediscovered the mini trampoline. I keep it with the kid toys and they LOVE jumping on it. Even if I only jump for 5 minutes several times a day, that will add needed activity. I'm also going to go dig up the kids jump rope... these are activities I can do even with the kids running around like crazy.
I have too much weight to lose to plateau this early in the game... and I didn't cheat at all over the weekend.
Yesterday I did have a nonfat 12 oz mocha (150 cals) and had lunch at Taco Bell (Fresco Chicken Burrito Supreme + water 340cals/8g fat). My daily total was 1440 cals/ 30 grams fat.
Breakfast today:
1 slice Dave's Killer Bread, 1 egg scrambled + 1 Tbs grated cheddar cheese (235 cals/10.5 grams fat)
I'm skipping my coffee and creamer that adds 150 cals/5 grams fat, so I ate more fat at breakfast since I've been pretty low. This will help keep me closer to 1200 cals/day. Today's breakfast was also ~70 cals less than my normal breakfast of oatmeal.
I'm combating with the following tactics:
*Increase water intake
*Decrease sodium intake (no freezer meals for a couple days at least)
*Take my natural cleanse to flush excess water
*Increase activity level
*Decrease calorie intake to 1200 cals for 2 days, then back to 1400.
I'm trying to add 30 minutes of planned physical activity a day (I already move, A LOT... so this focus is on planning/intentional activity). Today I rediscovered the mini trampoline. I keep it with the kid toys and they LOVE jumping on it. Even if I only jump for 5 minutes several times a day, that will add needed activity. I'm also going to go dig up the kids jump rope... these are activities I can do even with the kids running around like crazy.
I have too much weight to lose to plateau this early in the game... and I didn't cheat at all over the weekend.
Yesterday I did have a nonfat 12 oz mocha (150 cals) and had lunch at Taco Bell (Fresco Chicken Burrito Supreme + water 340cals/8g fat). My daily total was 1440 cals/ 30 grams fat.
Breakfast today:
1 slice Dave's Killer Bread, 1 egg scrambled + 1 Tbs grated cheddar cheese (235 cals/10.5 grams fat)
I'm skipping my coffee and creamer that adds 150 cals/5 grams fat, so I ate more fat at breakfast since I've been pretty low. This will help keep me closer to 1200 cals/day. Today's breakfast was also ~70 cals less than my normal breakfast of oatmeal.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
What's Up With The Food Pyramid?
Have you looked at the food pyramid lately? Seriously... what gives?
Since I am 32 years old... I fall into the 31-50 female bracket with says I should consume the following amounts per day:
A daily menu that stays EXACTLY within these ranges might include:
Breakfast
1 cup oatmeal (2 grain servings, 166 cals, 3.5 grams fat) + 1/2 ounce (about 12) chopped almonds (1 protein, 82 cals//7grams fat) + 1/3 cup dried cranberries (counts as 1/2 cup, 138 cals/ .5 fat) + 1/2 cup whole milk (1/2 serving, 75 cals/4 grams fat) Total 461 cals/ 16 grams fat
Snack
1 medium banana (1 cup fruit, 105 cals/ .5 grams fat) + 1 Tbs peanut butter (1 Protein, 95 cals/8grams fat) Total 200 cals/ 8.5 grams fat
Lunch
1 cup rice (2 grains, 242 cals/ .5 grams fat) + 1 1/2 ounce mozzarella cheese (1 milk, 135 cals/ 10.5 grams fat) + 1 cup garden salad (1 veggie, 30 cals) Totals 407 cals/ 11grams fat
Snack
1 medium baked potato (1 veggie, 161 cals) + 1/2 cup greek yogurt (1/2 milk, 68 cals) Total 229 cals
Dinner
1 cup whole wheat pasta (2 grains, 174 cals/ 1 gram fat) + 1 tsp butter (35 cals/ 4 grams fat)+ 1 1/2 ounce grated cheese (1 milk, 135 cals/ 10.5 grams fat) + 3 ounce chicken breast w/out skin (3 protein, 142 cals/3grams fat) + 1/2 cup green beans (44 cals) Total 530 cals/ 18.5 grams fat
Daily Total:
Fat grams: 54
Calories: 1827
Discretionary calories: 1 tsp butter + 1 Tbs PB/140 of total cals
Grains: 6 ounces
Milk: 3 cups/servings
Protein: 5 ounces
Fruit: 1 1/2 cups
Veggies: 2 1/2 cups
Really? The breakfast here is pretty standard for me. Dinner is a derivative of what I would normally do, but my choice would have put me way over my "recommended" intake of veggies. I would opt for 1 cup whole wheat pasta + 1/2 cup tomato based sauce (1 cup veggie equivalent) + mushrooms and zucchini (1 veggie) + 3 ounce chicken breast + garden salad (1 veggie). In this scenario, dinner alone would provide 3 cups of veggies, which is more than the "recommended" intake.
I also don't agree at all with eating half your grains in whole grain form... we consume 100% of our grains in whole grain form.
It's also very possible to maintain your calorie and fat gram limits by choosing animal proteins wisely. Venison comes in at 130 calories and 2 grams of fat per 3 ounce serving, Buffalo/Bison 143 calories/2.42 grams fat per 3.5 oz/100gram serving, skinless chicken breast 142 calories/3 grams of fat per 3 ounces. Many seafood items such as halibut, cod, clams, shrimp, tuna have less than 2.5% fat per 3 ounce serving.
Added fat: we only use EVOO (extra virgin olive oil), unrefined coconut oil, or real butter. I still use these items sparingly because I need to control my fat intake in order to lose weight.
*I would NEVER eat a potato for snack, in fact, I don't eat them at all (starch city!) but in order to actually reach the recommended 1800 calories, I had to keep a veggie there and find more calories!
**I LOVE bread... but I'm not eating it.
***Please eat more veggies
**** I know the pyramid is a guideline... but seriously, the way this is hounded into our children at school makes them think it's how it should be done. If my kids start staying, "oh, no, Mom... I can't have carrots for snack, I'll be over my recommended servings" I will SCREAM.
*****The menu above is do-able for me with a few changes, ie, more veggies and no potato. I don't like having to use cheese w/ lunch and dinner for dairy and not getting a lean protein at lunch. We might also add a treat such as a baked apple for dessert.
******This exercise has really opened my eyes to how little food it takes to reach your calorie and fat limits. Everyone who says, "I don't eat that much" should do a similar exercise.
Since I am 32 years old... I fall into the 31-50 female bracket with says I should consume the following amounts per day:
- 6 ounces grains w/ half being whole grains
- 2 1/2 cups of veggies
- 1 1/2 cups of fruit
- 3 cups of milk (or equivalent dairy)
- 5 ounces of meat/protein
- 5 tsp of fat/oil including what's in nuts/fish/etc...
- Total calorie intake of 1800 for inactive and 2000-2200 for active w/ discretionary calories (ie solid fats such as real butter) being no more than 195 at 1800 and 290 at 2200.
- 30 minutes of moderate to vigorous physical activity each day.
A daily menu that stays EXACTLY within these ranges might include:
Breakfast
1 cup oatmeal (2 grain servings, 166 cals, 3.5 grams fat) + 1/2 ounce (about 12) chopped almonds (1 protein, 82 cals//7grams fat) + 1/3 cup dried cranberries (counts as 1/2 cup, 138 cals/ .5 fat) + 1/2 cup whole milk (1/2 serving, 75 cals/4 grams fat) Total 461 cals/ 16 grams fat
Snack
1 medium banana (1 cup fruit, 105 cals/ .5 grams fat) + 1 Tbs peanut butter (1 Protein, 95 cals/8grams fat) Total 200 cals/ 8.5 grams fat
Lunch
1 cup rice (2 grains, 242 cals/ .5 grams fat) + 1 1/2 ounce mozzarella cheese (1 milk, 135 cals/ 10.5 grams fat) + 1 cup garden salad (1 veggie, 30 cals) Totals 407 cals/ 11grams fat
Snack
1 medium baked potato (1 veggie, 161 cals) + 1/2 cup greek yogurt (1/2 milk, 68 cals) Total 229 cals
Dinner
1 cup whole wheat pasta (2 grains, 174 cals/ 1 gram fat) + 1 tsp butter (35 cals/ 4 grams fat)+ 1 1/2 ounce grated cheese (1 milk, 135 cals/ 10.5 grams fat) + 3 ounce chicken breast w/out skin (3 protein, 142 cals/3grams fat) + 1/2 cup green beans (44 cals) Total 530 cals/ 18.5 grams fat
Daily Total:
Fat grams: 54
Calories: 1827
Discretionary calories: 1 tsp butter + 1 Tbs PB/140 of total cals
Grains: 6 ounces
Milk: 3 cups/servings
Protein: 5 ounces
Fruit: 1 1/2 cups
Veggies: 2 1/2 cups
Really? The breakfast here is pretty standard for me. Dinner is a derivative of what I would normally do, but my choice would have put me way over my "recommended" intake of veggies. I would opt for 1 cup whole wheat pasta + 1/2 cup tomato based sauce (1 cup veggie equivalent) + mushrooms and zucchini (1 veggie) + 3 ounce chicken breast + garden salad (1 veggie). In this scenario, dinner alone would provide 3 cups of veggies, which is more than the "recommended" intake.
I also don't agree at all with eating half your grains in whole grain form... we consume 100% of our grains in whole grain form.
It's also very possible to maintain your calorie and fat gram limits by choosing animal proteins wisely. Venison comes in at 130 calories and 2 grams of fat per 3 ounce serving, Buffalo/Bison 143 calories/2.42 grams fat per 3.5 oz/100gram serving, skinless chicken breast 142 calories/3 grams of fat per 3 ounces. Many seafood items such as halibut, cod, clams, shrimp, tuna have less than 2.5% fat per 3 ounce serving.
Added fat: we only use EVOO (extra virgin olive oil), unrefined coconut oil, or real butter. I still use these items sparingly because I need to control my fat intake in order to lose weight.
*I would NEVER eat a potato for snack, in fact, I don't eat them at all (starch city!) but in order to actually reach the recommended 1800 calories, I had to keep a veggie there and find more calories!
**I LOVE bread... but I'm not eating it.
***Please eat more veggies
**** I know the pyramid is a guideline... but seriously, the way this is hounded into our children at school makes them think it's how it should be done. If my kids start staying, "oh, no, Mom... I can't have carrots for snack, I'll be over my recommended servings" I will SCREAM.
*****The menu above is do-able for me with a few changes, ie, more veggies and no potato. I don't like having to use cheese w/ lunch and dinner for dairy and not getting a lean protein at lunch. We might also add a treat such as a baked apple for dessert.
******This exercise has really opened my eyes to how little food it takes to reach your calorie and fat limits. Everyone who says, "I don't eat that much" should do a similar exercise.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Yo-Yo Dieting
I don't consider myself a yo-yo dieter, even though I've tried numerous weight loss solutions. I'm not a yo-yo because the most I've ever managed to lose is maybe 10lbs and then I fall off the bandwagon.
You see, I'm an instant gratification kind of girl. If I can't finish a task in the time frame I've envisioned, then I put it away and don't come back to it for some time.
This is true with sewing projects, scrapbooking, household improvements, and yes, weight loss.
My need for instant gratification is why I stepped on the scale after only six days instead of waiting for the one month weigh in (as I'd initially planned). I was rewarded with a 4.8lb loss in those six days which gave me the momentum I needed to go forward. I'm going to try to limit myself to one weigh in a week.
Normally, I avoid the scale because I don't want to know what it says (denial!) and I also know I have the tendency to become obsessive. If I don't keep myself in check, I'll be on the scale every morning and it will take over my life.
For those who are wondering about long term maintenance, I have a plan. I know how to eat healthy. I know about portion control. I can name off the fat and calorie content of most any food. I simply have to gain control over my emotional and social eating. This plan is helping me get there.
You see, I'm an instant gratification kind of girl. If I can't finish a task in the time frame I've envisioned, then I put it away and don't come back to it for some time.
This is true with sewing projects, scrapbooking, household improvements, and yes, weight loss.
My need for instant gratification is why I stepped on the scale after only six days instead of waiting for the one month weigh in (as I'd initially planned). I was rewarded with a 4.8lb loss in those six days which gave me the momentum I needed to go forward. I'm going to try to limit myself to one weigh in a week.
Normally, I avoid the scale because I don't want to know what it says (denial!) and I also know I have the tendency to become obsessive. If I don't keep myself in check, I'll be on the scale every morning and it will take over my life.
For those who are wondering about long term maintenance, I have a plan. I know how to eat healthy. I know about portion control. I can name off the fat and calorie content of most any food. I simply have to gain control over my emotional and social eating. This plan is helping me get there.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Winning the Mind Battle
It's not news to most of us that the only socially acceptable size is skinny, even if that comes at the price of unhealthy.
I've never been a skinny girl, though I have been a thin girl (does that make any sense?). My smallest grown up size wore a 4/6 on my petite 5' 1" frame.
I don't aspire to be micro thin.
I don't buy into societies views that we must be uber skinny in order to be H-O-T.
I'm a Mama. I'm the daughter of a deceased Mother. I'm a wife twice over.
I desire health. I desire to overcome my life long battles with food.
I've realized that yes, my childhood has shaped my eating habits. Yes, those "damages" will always be present. Yes, I am more than a sum of childhood experiences that were beyond my ability to control. Yes, I can overcome.
For me, food is social. We like to eat. This has been the steady theme throughout my life. Family gatherings were always based around food, outings with girlfriends always centered around food. I don't eat because I'm hungry (although, I do that as well)... I eat socially.
A few months ago I was invited to a girls night out at a friends house. I call this the "skinny girl" party. Seriously... they were all thin. No one ate, even though it was a dinner party. Ok, I take that back, everyone nibbled on the (healthy) dinner of mahi mahi fish tacos. I brought along bread and cheesy artichoke dip with veggies and hummus. Where I come from, people EAT. I took home almost all what I brought.
In a conversation with the host of this gathering, I mentioned that I hated this "starving" feeling and that it makes me CRANKY (and who likes a cranky girl anyway?). She said, "you get used to it". Whaaaaaat? That's what it takes to be thin? I don't think I want to hop on that bandwagon!
So, I'm on a mission to overcome. To move beyond being force fed as a child because I wouldn't eat... to move beyond my bouts with eating disorders/obsessions... to move beyond feeling that food is necessary for entertainment... to overcome my love/hate relationship with the mirror and my inability to ever try clothes on at the store.
Currently I'm unhappily wearing a size 14. My final goal is a size 8 but I will be equally content with a 6 or a 10. I don't care that a 14 is the average American woman's size, so don't try to make me feel better. My first goal is to lose 30 lbs, although I don't really care about how many pounds the scale says... I just know that 30 lbs should get me back to a size 10. Then I will re-evaluate and go from there.
I've never been a skinny girl, though I have been a thin girl (does that make any sense?). My smallest grown up size wore a 4/6 on my petite 5' 1" frame.
I don't aspire to be micro thin.
I don't buy into societies views that we must be uber skinny in order to be H-O-T.
I'm a Mama. I'm the daughter of a deceased Mother. I'm a wife twice over.
I desire health. I desire to overcome my life long battles with food.
I've realized that yes, my childhood has shaped my eating habits. Yes, those "damages" will always be present. Yes, I am more than a sum of childhood experiences that were beyond my ability to control. Yes, I can overcome.
For me, food is social. We like to eat. This has been the steady theme throughout my life. Family gatherings were always based around food, outings with girlfriends always centered around food. I don't eat because I'm hungry (although, I do that as well)... I eat socially.
A few months ago I was invited to a girls night out at a friends house. I call this the "skinny girl" party. Seriously... they were all thin. No one ate, even though it was a dinner party. Ok, I take that back, everyone nibbled on the (healthy) dinner of mahi mahi fish tacos. I brought along bread and cheesy artichoke dip with veggies and hummus. Where I come from, people EAT. I took home almost all what I brought.
In a conversation with the host of this gathering, I mentioned that I hated this "starving" feeling and that it makes me CRANKY (and who likes a cranky girl anyway?). She said, "you get used to it". Whaaaaaat? That's what it takes to be thin? I don't think I want to hop on that bandwagon!
So, I'm on a mission to overcome. To move beyond being force fed as a child because I wouldn't eat... to move beyond my bouts with eating disorders/obsessions... to move beyond feeling that food is necessary for entertainment... to overcome my love/hate relationship with the mirror and my inability to ever try clothes on at the store.
Currently I'm unhappily wearing a size 14. My final goal is a size 8 but I will be equally content with a 6 or a 10. I don't care that a 14 is the average American woman's size, so don't try to make me feel better. My first goal is to lose 30 lbs, although I don't really care about how many pounds the scale says... I just know that 30 lbs should get me back to a size 10. Then I will re-evaluate and go from there.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)